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Who needs EDAW?

This week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I don’t need an awareness week, I am so painfully, ridiculously, exhaustingly aware of my eating disorder every single day. 

You see I was x kg, bmi of x, eating x calories a day doing x amount of exercise a day. And what is x? Well it doesn’t matter. Not a single one of those numbers has to be low or high for me to justify my diagnosis. My suffering is not quantified, summed up or lessened by those numbers. 

I may not need this week to remind myself of the seriousness of eating disorders, but so many others do need this week of awareness, of myth busting, of open conversations. So many others for so many different reasons. For some, they need educating, eye and mind opening. For some, such as those with eating disorders other than anorexia, for those from the BAME communities, for men and non binary people, for those who don’t fit the stereotypes, they need representing, an opportunity to have their voices heard, their stories shared, their pain acknowledged. It is such an important time to not only talk about eating disorders but to listen to those whose stories so often go unheard (and those whose stories are). 

I’ve found this week quite overwhelming in terms of the coverage of eating disorders, the constant barrage, but I realise the need. It’s okay however to switch off from these things if you need to. Your experiences are valid whether they are shared or not, or whether they are represented in mainstream media. Your experiences are valid and important, your strength clear and your struggles real. 

Sending love, light and joy, 
Daniela x 

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From hero to zero just like that

Calling all my Hercules fans out that for that title reference?

Anyway, moving on… Today is Time to Talk day, a day where we all are encouraged to start conversations about mental health, to share how we’re feeling and this year, our recipe for the perfect way to start talking.

Time to Talk Day

I’ve always been very good at talking about my mental health in the past tense: I was ill, I was experiencing x, I was in hospital, I was struggling with my mental health, but today I am. Every day I am.

Last Time to Talk day, I was in hospital but a couple of months before that I was working, I was leaving the house, driving, going out with friends. I was miserable, and suffering, a lot, but I was living. I wouldn’t say hero like my title says, but zero is definitely the word I would use. I went from a New Years Party, to a little over a week later sat in a hospital bed, and a month later, sat in a hospital too scared to leave the grounds.  

Today, I feel like I’m barely living at all. I go for dog walks, and sometimes to the coop on a good day, but the world passes me by. I spent so long running to keep up with the world, hobbling along while I did it, searching for something to make things better, to make me whole again, but I was always one step away from control, one step from beating the misery, and maybe one step from living. And now? Maybe I’m a whole lot of steps from living. The world turns one way, while I walk the other, and that’s okay.  

The beautiful Lily

But I have glimmers of hope, friends who visit, text, call, my beautiful cat and beautiful dog, my dad aka dog walking buddy aka safety net, my mum aka problem solver, my sister aka all round good egg. I have glints in the darkness of light and kindness and calm, and my suffering is not conquered by them, nor overly lessened by them, but it is accompanied by them. I face the darkness all the same, but I face it with an army.

So back to Time to Talk day. My recipe for starting a conversation on mental health?
– One blog post
– Two people
– And a whole lot of space without judgement

Sending love, light and joy,
Daniela x

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The Big Launch

Rudi the beautiful rescue pup modelling his new scrunchies

What better to celebrate a big launch than a dog picture? My beautiful pup Rudi is here modelling his new scrunchies for all of our benefits.

Yesterday was the day the big eBay store went live and hopefully the start of a lots of funds raised in support of Rethink Mental Illness.

Which scrunchie are you going to get?

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My Top 7 Scrunchie Affirmations

CW: Eating Disorders

My old roommate Emily used to fan herself with her exam books to “osmosis the information into her head”.

When I was told to come up with some positive statements and affirmations for myself, I wasn’t sure quite where to write them. I needed somewhere where they could be instantly available, constantly comforting, a friendly reminder that things were somehow, at some point, going to be okay. So where better than a scrunchie to “osmosis” into my head?

I thought I’d share with you 7 of my favourite scrunchie affirmations:
No matter what you ate yesterday, you still have to eat today.
I am a lightly dusted croissant
Believe in you
I am safe. That is enough. 
I am a majestic camel.
I do not need to earn the right to eat. 
I am doing the right thing. 

Some of those are self explanatory, some of those are near unexplainable, but whatever helps you through the day is perfectly okay and perfectly valid.

These are my top 7 affirmations, what are yours?

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Personalisation Ideas

Don’t know how to use your 50 characters? Check out some of our ideas below:

Positive Affirmation:
– I am enough
– I am strong
– I am safe

Messages:
– Thinking of you Love name
– Happy 21st Birthday name Love name
– Love you lots

Other ideas:
– Your/someone’s name or initials
– Your favourite quote
– A private joke between friends

What are you going to get on your scrunchie?